It was SUCH a sweet time! We got to visit with two women who were once my Young Life high school girls, and four families who so generously poured into us as committee couples when Daryn was on Young Life staff there. We also got to speak at Purdue Campus House Church, visit Covenant Church, and see another awesome woman who has been a huge encouragement to our family, through years of ministry.
In addition to all of those blessings, we got to show the kids our old stomping grounds of Purdue University...and catch the first snowfall of the year. I just kept thinking, "I don't know how I walked to class in this weather for over 4 years!"
While we were in West Lafayette, I had a totally unexpected moment with the Lord when I felt like he really spoke to me. It's difficult to know WHY it was at this moment God chose to reach out to me, but I was taking communion at Campus House and began to pray. I really felt the need to confess my lack of faith at times. I am not sure what made this particular moment of prayer any different than others when I feel like I'm talking AT God, but in this prayer I felt like He was speaking back to me.
I said, "God, I'm really so at peace with selling my belongings, moving out of our house, quitting my job, and asking people to support us monthly. But...what if You don't come through and Daryn and I look like fools? What if You don't do it? We will look so silly." And in that moment, these are the EXACT words that God answered me with: "I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR YOUR REPUTATION." WOW. In that one sentence, the Lord said SO MUCH. You know what He did NOT say? He didn't say "I'm going to do it. No need to worry." He didn't say, "You won't look like a fool." He only said it's not about Daryn and Brooke. Our reputation is not what motivates God. And how humbling to be reminded of that. This sentence gave me so much peace. God will bring glory to Himself, whatever happens, and it won't be because of us. And rather than increasing OUR reputation, He will show others who HE is. God's reputation comes from what He does on man's behalf. And when He does great things, I hope those who know us will praise Him!
So, like anyone would do when they feel like God is speaking to them, I KEPT ASKING QUESTIONS :) I said, "But God, what about my kids?" (That may be all I said, but in that I was asking 10 questions at once..."What if they get hurt? What will they think of Uganda? What about the things they will miss leaving family? How will being a third culture kid impact them? Can I really have Grace college ready by homeschooling?" And again, God gave me a very clear and poignant answer. He said, "They aren't your kids." WOW, again. Of course. God has given Daryn and me the awesome responsibility to care for them, but ultimately our kids belong to God, and He is going to guide our steps as their parents if we continue to place our hope in Him. He cares more than me, He has the story of their lives planned better than I ever could, and He not only knew that calling us to Uganda was the best plan for them, He lovingly planned this calling to bless our kids.
Thank you, God, that you care enough about me to speak to my heart! Thank you that you do not see my moments of disbelief and leave me! And thank you for using our family as part of your amazing story.